These are our current crop of LEGENDARY HAGGiS Guides. Our guides are all highly trained, highly entertaining, and highly professional locals who are your historians, comedians, weather forecasters, storytellers, drivers & DJ's all rolled into ONE!
Fergie
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Lochgoilhead
Travelled around: 100's of places!
Greatest Achievement: Straight A's at HAGGiS School!
Favourite Joke: What goes 'AAA' - A sheep with no lips
Favourite Song: mmm bop, Hanson
Favourite Book: Harry Potter
Favourite Pub anywhere: Mishnish, Tobermory
Favourite British Pub: as above
No.1 place in the world: Glencoe
No.1 British place: as above
Most embarrassing Moment: Walking in on my flatmate and his boyfriend Rodney getting it ON on the couch!
Greg
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Houston (nr Glasgow)
Travelled around: 50 Odd countries and a few normal ones
Greatest Achievement: Passing Cycling Proficieny Test - aged 10 (at the 2nd attempt)
Favourite Joke: 2 Fish in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"!!
Favourite Song: 'You must have been a beautiful baby', my Grandpa
Favourite Book: Catch 22, Joseph Heller
Favourite Pub anywhere: Ice Bar, Stockholm
Favourite British Pub: Burke & Hare, Edinburgh
No.1 place in the world: Tikal, Guatemala
No.1 British place: Ibrox Stadium
Most embarrassing Moment: Accidently flashing 20 monks at the Grand Palace in Thailand! oops
Adam
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Pymoor in Cambridgeshire (end of the earth turn left and continue on that road for 2 miles, we’re the second house on the left next to the cow sheds)
Travelled around: USA, Canada, Europe
Greatest Achievement: Completing a life-guarding course which took place in a lake which was frozen over at the start of the course! 2 weeks of hell during which I realised I cannot swim very well.
Favourite Joke: All too rude to put on public display, come on tour and I’ll share some with you and some alternative nursery rhymes that your parents skipped when you were young!
Favourite Song: “Mr. Jones” – Counting Crows
Favourite Book: “The Long Way Round” – Ewan McGregor and Charlie Boorman
Favourite Pub anywhere: “The Soak” in Birmingham. 90p a pint between 12-7pm takes some beating
Favourite British Pub: As above. You can also get a burger and beer for £3. On top of that one of the barman can hold 2 pints in one hand – harder than it sounds, try it
No.1 place in the world: Walden Pond, Denmark, Maine
No.1 British place: Lake Windermere, Lake District
Most embarrassing Moment: Not locking the door of a Virgin train toilet on my way to my Haggis interview. So I was carrying out my business only to be greeted by a mother with small child, who had pressed the button to find a fully grown man with trousers at his ankles. Awkward moment to say the least, the child will probably need some sort of counselling
Rab
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Findhorn near Forres east of Inverness west of Java
Travelled around: Europe, South America, Bars, Pool Halls and Discos
Greatest Achievement: Side burns at the age of 12
Favourite Joke: What did number 1 say to number 10? Who’s the fat chick?
Favourite Song: Happy Birthday
Favourite Book: Any of the Ian Fleming James Bond paper backs or Noddys new car
Favourite Pub anywhere: The Crown and Anchor next door to my Mammies Hoose
No.1 place in the world: Bed
No.1 British place: Snowdonia, Wales
Most embarrassing Moment: Who? Me? Never happened!
Laura
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Inverness
Travelled around: South Africa, OZ, NZ, Russia, USA, Finland, Europe
Greatest Achievement: Scottish Universities Small-Bore Champion 2000/1
Favourite Joke: Did you hear about the magic tractor? - It turned into a field!!!!
Favourite Song: 99 In the Shade, Bon Jovi
Favourite Book: The Duck Street Gang, Dennis Marray
Favourite Pub anywhere: Cibo Matto, Stuttgart (Fantastic Swimming Pool Cocktails)
No.1 place in the world: St Kilda
No.1 British place: Cambridge, England
Most embarrassing Moment: If I don't remember, it didn't happen!
Gary
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Windermere
Travelled around: OZ, NZ, Canada, USA, Sweden, Estonia, France
Greatest Achievement: Completing the Waia pass on the South Island of New Zealand on my own
Favourite Joke: What do you call a 3 legged donkey? Wonkey!
Favourite Song: F.E.A.R - Ian Brown
Favourite Book: The Crow Road - Iain Banks
Favourite Pub anywhere: Scruffy Duffy's, New York
Favourite British Pub: Tut n' shive, Cardiff
No.1 place in the world: Waterfall Hut, Day 3 on the Wilkins - James Trek in NZ. Amazing View, shower in a waterfall...Heaven on Earth!
No.1 British place: West Water, Lake District - It's the dictionary definition of 'awesome'
Most embarrassing Moment: Throwing up on a train crossing the Sydney Harbour Bridge following my 1st experience of Sushi - Lost my specs as i wretched out the window!
Marie
Role: Driver/Guide
Home Town: Swanscombe, Kent
Travelled around: Hong Kong, Australia, Ireland, Switzerland and Crete
Greatest Achievement: Learning how to schifer water from a container on a tractor into a trough for sheep.
Favourite Joke: A jellybean and a Smartie went clubbing. The jellybean asked the smartie to look after him because he was always getting beaten up; the Smartie agreed. They came out of the club at about 2am and the jellybean immediately got beaten up. Afterwards he asked the Smartie why he didn't help him. The Smartie replied, I would have but those Lockets are menthol.
Favourite Song: "November Rain" - Guns 'n' Roses
Favourite Book: "Cross Stitch" - Diana Cabaldon
Favourite Pub anywhere: Toddy's Bar - Alice Springs, Australia
Favourite British Pub: The Wharf
No.1 place in the world: Alice Springs
No.1 British place: York
Most embarrassing Moment: Not for public viewing!